Did you just see the Batmobile???
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
