covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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