Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
