Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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