Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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