You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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