Me too!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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