Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
