Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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