And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize