He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
