Im at strip club and am horny
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
