oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
