Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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