You kept calling me your small dog last night.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We don't watch enough power rangers
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
