awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's never too late to be topless.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
