just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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