The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
