we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
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