took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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