And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you win again, gameday.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
