a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
