you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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