So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
