forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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