Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
