Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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