You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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