we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
