If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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