is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Sext me about skeletons
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
