whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Let's get the cat blown out
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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