she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
