OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
