Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize