i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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