he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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