You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize