she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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