Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
