we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
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I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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