are you still at the devil's house?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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