Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
