The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So vagazzling was a success
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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