if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
