Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
