Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
