Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
