Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
accomplished twins. life is a go
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
