why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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