The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
