literally had 100 drinks last night.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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