really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
