Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
