Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
