the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
