he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
nutella sex= disaster
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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