So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
