Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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