fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize