He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
