is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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