just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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