So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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