I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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