i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize