Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
